- Ruth Beaglehole, Echo Parenting and Education
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“Too often we forget that discipline really means to teach, not to punish. A disciple is a student, not a recipient of behavioral consequences.”
― Daniel J. Siegel, The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind, Survive Everyday Parenting Struggles, and Help Your Family Thrive
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"What children need is not new and better curricula but access to more and more of the real world; plenty of time and space to think over their experiences, and to use fantasy and play to make meaning out of them; and advice, road maps, guidebooks, to make it easier for them to get where they want to go (not where we think they ought to go), and to find out what they want to find out."
Alexandria children are a pleasure to have around but at times can be quite a challenge! Guidance and discipline of children are ongoing processes that will embrace everything you do with children. Learning self-control and how to get along with others is part of growing up, and daycare providers play an important role in teaching children these important skills.
ReplyDeleteThe word discipline comes from the word disciple, meaning to teach. Caring for children for long hours each day, year after year, gives providers a wonderful opportunity to help shape, guide, and nurture the behavior of children. A good understanding of children and guidance techniques is the basis for effective discipline. Take time to view things from a child's perspective. It can make a whole lot of difference in your relationship with children.
There is no one right way to discipline. An approach that is successful in one situation may not work in another. Also, different children respond in different ways to disciplining methods. Successful caregivers use a variety of approaches to deal with behavioral problems. I guess you can say that’s a part of teaching.
Never should a provider punish a child by slapping, hitting, or spanking. It is also inappropriate for a provider to pinch, punch, or shake a child. As providers our focus is to teach a child what to do rather than what not to do. It may help to think of behavior problems as an opportunity to teach children new skills. Discipline is indeed a form of teaching.
You mention all the physical ways providers shouldn't "discipline" a child. Caregivers, parents, teachers, and adults in general discipline children in other abusive ways without realizing it's harmful. Shaming is very popular, manipulating, bribing, threatening, enforcing consequences... these are mainstream parenting practices. I argue that people are using the idea of discipline to enforce a cycle of mistreating children. Modeling, empathizing, and helping children isn't the same as enforcing consequences and modifying behaviors.
ReplyDeleteYou say there is "no one right way to discipline". I say the idea of discipline isn't right in any way.
I used the same quote from Sandra Dodd about children visiting real life. I sometimes wonder if the busyness that we expect from our children in regard to sports, extracurricular activities, hobbies as well as coursework and homework is doing the children a disservice because it is such a break from what "real life" is for individuals in an ideal existence. Truthfully, how many adults follow a schedule like children's without feeling exhausted and worn down by life and this is what we expect from children.
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